Family

 Family

Dogs

My children love Dogs.  We all love Dogs.

Dogs defined as “common animals with four legs, especially kept by people as pets or to hunt or guard things”. 

Ever since my daughter was little, my girl has always loved Dogs.  The Joy on her face when someone would say “Yes” after my daughter would ask “can I please pat your dog”.

My son also loves Dogs.

For so long we would deliberately go to Cronulla Mall, just so that we could meet Dogs and pat Dogs.  And we often pick our local park so that we can pat and walk Dogs.

My children have so much excitement and Joy from being around Dogs.

I had a dog called Boots when I was little.  I loved Boots so much.  He was my friend.  He was always there for me. 

This year has been a big year.  It has been stressful and illuminating too and it has been a year of challenges and of realising priorities.  It has been a year that has been exhausting and I am still so tired and yet I still stay up late to have my own time even though I should sleep and get rest.  And we may have the doubters and the critics and those with an opinion telling us to wait and not get a puppy now, that it is hard work and we are already busy and tired - yet I know that Dogs bring Joy, I know a puppy of our own will bring us the greatest Joy.  My husband and I are a great team.  My husband and my children are my life.  We will work together for the best of our family which we have agreed will include a puppy.

On 17 September I decided to start researching about Dogs and to my delight learnt all about Cobberdogs, such a beautiful breed.  And since that day I have been watching videos of Dogs and scanning photos on Facebook and reading stories and my love for Dogs has grown too.  I love looking at photos of Dogs.  This has brought me so much Joy.

I have found a Breeder and we have told our children we are getting a puppy and now each day we wait and check and once the waitlist opens, we can’t wait to put in an Adoption Form and pay our deposit, we are ready to go.  Now we just have to think of a name for our puppy.  I can’t wait to see the Joy on our children’s faces when we bring our puppy home.  The Joy will certainly outweigh the extra work and I am blessed by a husband that is hardworking and hands on and he is happy and supportive of welcoming a little one into our lives.

Beach

Yesterday we went to the Beach.  Being at the Beach definitely brings Joy to our family.

Beach defined as “an area of sand or stones beside the sea.” 

We are blessed to be just a 5 minute drive from the Beach.  The other day we decided to go in the late afternoon and it was still packed yet we found a parking spot and everyone was happy and Joy-Filled.  My daughter and hubby were playing in the water and throwing in the surfer toys and my son was building sand castles and making icecreams.  I was happy taking photos to capture the day, to capture the Joy.  I love capturing the Joy on camera - the facial expressions of excitement and happiness and the spark of Joy.

When I look back over the last few years since having our children, we have had so many fun times at the Beach, the best of times, Joy-filled times. 

Life is so Joyful when we enjoy time together as a family. 

And time at the Beach, on a warm summer’s day, is filled with Joy.

I love being in the water.  I love the salt water.  And seeing my daughter running along the shoreline, happy and Joyful brings me such happiness too.

Being so close to the Beach makes it possible for us to go at any time of the day.  And while I am a homebody and it is easy to stay at home, having children is the best incentive to get out of the house for a fun time at the Beach.  And seeing my children’s Joy brings me the greatest Joy.

Music

Music brings Joy! 

Music defined as “vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion”, “an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through elements of rhythm, melody, harmony and colour”.

I love having Music in the house and dancing around with my children.

I have now also found Joy in putting in my headphones and listening to Music. I’m absolutely loving Country Music. I’ve always loved Country Music yet have recently discovered it again and am loving listening to new artists where I am currently looking up country singers from Georgia. I love the love stories of heartbreak and forever love. To me it’s like a mini movie with real characters and real emotions captured in the Music, in just a few minutes.

Listening to Music while cooking brings me Joy too. I’m in my own world, feeling creative and inspired and relaxed and in the moment. 

I love my children singing, it is beautiful Music. I absolutely loved my son’s Christmas Concert and really loved on Christmas Eve when my daughter sang carols to our neighbours, it was so wonderful! The bringing of Joy through Music. 

The other day when I was at my friend’s home I loved sitting in the verandah with her playlist of Music playing on her speaker. And then at the park I loved us sharing our favourite songs. I love getting to know people and love when they share details about their favourite songs where one of Emma’s friend’s Mums was saying that she loves fast paced Music and dances around the house and that this is very fitness. And watching her come to life in her telling the story showed her Joy. 

And I loved on Christmas my niece received a Karaoke microphone and my nieces and children were singing their favourite songs. The best Music! The greatest Joy! Coming together and being in a special moment together.

Growing up I loved going to concerts! This was always the best night. I loved seeing Cyndi Lauper. I loved John Farnham. I loved Missy Higgins. Once Covid is over and when my children are much older I look forward to taking them to concerts. We had a great time when Emma was younger going to The Wiggles. Music definitely brings Joy for all ages. 

Over recent years I’ve loved going to The Brass Monkey too, a Music Club in Cronulla. I loved discovering new Music.

To me Music is often about discovery and it is definitely about being in the moment and feeling the Music, the beat and the emotion. 

We are blessed by the Joy of Music. And I love Spotify that instantly plays any song I choose, a worthwhile investment and fantastic invention to showcase Music to bring Joy.

Clean

I love when my lounge room and kitchen are Clean. I love when the carpet is clear and Clean. I love when the dining table is Clean (and clear). 

The process of Housekeeping brings Joy yet it is the achievement of Clean that brings the greatest Joy.

Clean defined as "free from dirt, marks or stains." "The meaning of Clean usually refers to removing something unwanted."

When my home is Clean I feel instant Joy. When my home is not Clean and not clear I feel unhappy. I even start feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

I am Joy-Filled when my home is Clean as it means than people can call in or the children can have play dates and I feel comfortable with children and parents at our home. Clean does not mean perfect to me. It’s probably at between a 70-80% level of Clean. 

My friend was telling me the other day that her house was Sparking - this is the  ultimate Clean that often seems unattainable for me. When my friend says Sparkling, my friend means that the whole house is so Clean and clear and everything is in its place and every surface and window is almost shining, that the house belongs in an advertisement. 

I am happy with my level of Clean and yet I’m always striving for more and for better. Although I do not want to strive for perfection as this leads to unrealistic expectations and too much pressure. 

And for me having a sense of pressure takes away Joy. And so I want to Clean and keep my home Clean to bring Joy and allow the Joy of visitors without the pressure of having to have my home perfect.

By having a 70-80% Clean home it means that we can welcome in the unexpected and welcome visitors.  Today because we have a Clean home it meant that when we ran into our daughter’s friend it is fun and exciting and possible to invite her back for dinner.  And it was Joyful to see my girl happy in spending time with her friend. 

Having a goal of 70-80% Clean is perfect for us and definitely achievable - taking away the stress - and leaving plenty of room to allow, and bring in, Joy for our family.   

 

Christmas

We love Christmas! Christmas brings so much Joy!

I start planning for Christmas early and every time I find a present for my children or my Hubby (which is almost impossible) I am excited and filled with Joy. 

Christmas defined as "the annual festival of the Christian Church commemorating the birth of Jesus: celebrated on December 25 and now generally observed as a legal holiday and, for many, an occasion for exchanging gifts."

I love looking forward to Christmas with my children.  I love when my husband buys our children an Advent Calendar and open it eagerly on 1 December 2020.  I love when my husband organises our Christmas tree with our children, where he carefully takes out all of the ornaments and places them so beautifully on the tree.  These precious moments bring Joy.  And of course I eagerly take photos to record these moments.  And in the taking of photos this also brings me Joy – Joy in the taking of photos and Joy in looking at the photos I have taken and have a feeling of ‘yes’ ‘money shot’!

We are all excited when the elves arrive too and our house is filled with Joy and excitement every morning as my daughter and son search the house for Suzie and Andy. 

I love the excitement of our children, particularly my son who is always counting down the days towards Christmas.

I am Joyful when I buy their Christmas tshirts.  I love when I have organised the children’s outfit for their Santa photo.  I love when my children have their Santa photo and the Joy comes when I look at the photo and am happy that the photographer has captured their smiles and Joy.  It is also Joyful seeing my children talking to Santa, happy and excited and I know that this is the moment that is most important, not me getting the perfect photo. 

I love seeing the flashing of lights at the front of my house, and Joy in the knowing that my husband has made such an effort to bring cheer and colour to our home.  

I love wrapping my children’s presents and organising them.  I am always looking for the ones that they will love, the ones that will bring them Joy. 

I love being on holidays for Christmas and being able to relax and enjoy time with my family.

The day before Christmas the energy and excitement builds and I am as excited as my children. 

Christmas morning is filled with so much Joy.  I absolutely love seeing my children opening their presents and being so happy - and I love capturing the Joy on their faces – capturing it in my mind’s eye and by photos.

I love getting family photos.  Everyone knows that getting the perfect photos brings Joy.  And I am not sure why I strive so hard for perfection in the photos – I know I need to be more relaxed and Joyful when taking photos.  Yet I know that capturing photos does bring me Joy at Christmas, does bring me Joy each day. 

I am grateful to my husband who always surprises me with a beautiful card and such thoughtful presents.  I am always filled with Joy as I open the card my husband has chosen just for me.  And I love the beautifully wrapped presents my husband chooses for me. 

And I love seeing my Mum and Dad and being with my family at Christmas.  Seeing my Mum and Dad and talking to them and just being with them brings me Joy. 

I love sitting down with my family eating a feast and drinking a glass of champagne or wine. 

And then sadly Christmas is over. 

Yet the Christmas tree in our lounge room remains and in the quiet I hold onto the Joy of the Christmas Season and the Joy I have shared with the ones I love and the ones who love me.

Housekeeping

Housekeeping brings me Joy.

Housekeeping defined as "the management of duties and chores involved in the running of a household, such as cleaning, cooking, home maintenance, shopping, and bill payment."  It is "the work (such as cooking and cleaning) that is done in a house, the things that must be done regularly to keep something working properly."

I like cleaning the kitchen.  I like when the dishes are away in the cupboard or in the dishwasher, the rubbish is in the bin outside, and the counter in clean. I love when my lounge room is clean with toys away and vaccumed and I feel Joy when the dust and crumbs are gone (for a day or two or few hours).

I love when I clean the table and it is clear. This brings me Joy.

I love when our bedrooms are clean and tidy and have been vaccuummed and there are fresh sheets.

I also get Joy when as part of the Housekeeping I target areas that may go unnoticed or not cleaned as often such as the wooden blinds or skirting boards or the stairs. 

I love the process of housework and the results of Housekeeping, where I feel Joy at what I achieved in those minutes or hours. 

I’ve tried something new this week, trying to do Housekeeping consistently through the week, after work, a bit here, a bit of time there, so that it doesn’t feel like a chore and we are not in a mess by the time the weekend comes around. 

Housekeeping is definitely a day to day "need to do" and so I choose Joy, I will choose to enjoy the daily process of Housekeeping. 

By choosing Housekeeping each day and keeping on top of the Housekeeping duties, it means that by the time the weekend comes there is more time to relax and enjoy with my family and friends.  And there is also more time to work on other projects. 

It is always a great feeling, sparks of Joy, as I look around and feel proud of having a clean and tidy house after my Housekeeping efforts.

Tea

I love having a cup of Tea. Specifically my favourite, that feels like a treat, is my chai Tea.

I have a very specific order - a chai latte, on soy, extra hot, 3/4 strength. I look forward to it. I enjoy it. Tea brings me Joy.

At night time, when the children are in bed I love having a chai Tea.  I also love having a peppermint Tea with honey too.

My day is busy.  During my day Tea brings me Joy. 

It is so busy in the morning, getting my children ready for school.  Making sure I get my daughter to school on time is the biggest challenge - and then making sure I am ready and at work by 9:00am is .  I know this doesn't seem early.  My little boy is always reluctant to get moving in the morning.  Some Mums I know have to be up and out much earlier.  I am usually up by 7:00am which also is a late start for many Mums, yet I stay up late once my children are in bed, writing, making photobooks, watching Netflix.  This is my time that definitely brings me Joy.  Although I always know I 'should' be going to bed earlier with 10:00pm being my magic number rather than 11:00pm or 11:30pm.  Regardless I drink my Tea and stay up late and feel happy.

And then during the day, quite early in the morning I feel the pressure of work building - so much to do - too much to do.  And so when I order my chai Tea from the local cafe and just have a brief moment to relax and enjoy my Tea, I feel Joy.  

No matter how my day is going, or how my night is gone, a cup of Tea can be a “cure all” for me.  Tonight I have been cranky, tired and cranky - and my precious two little ones went to bed so late which has meant the kitchen is messy and I am up late, and I feel guilty for getting cranky at them when the night wasn’t going to plan, which is always the case since I don’t really have a plan.  Although I know and they know that I get tired and cranky by 9:00pm.  So now I need some “me time” to do some of my favourite things – writing, watching Netflix and a cup of peppermint Tea with honey – these are some of the things that definitely bring me Joy. 

I also like drinking Tea with my husband and with friends too - Tea can bring forth a time of connection and conversation - and these times are moments of Joy for me too.   

Writing

Writing definitely brings me Joy.

I have always loved Writing and wanted to dedicate more time to Writing.  I am so excited that this year, this dream has come true. 

I’ve loved that I have written a few children books that I plan to review and get my daughter to complete with drawings. Plus I have two other children’s books in my mind. I also love my two Projects via Blogs, even though I am behind in my goal of writing each week. I definitely have topics to write about for each and need to get back on track to meet the deadlines I have set myself. The reason I am behind on schedule is because of my love of Writing where I am currently Writing a novel too. This novel idea which I hope is novel in terms of original, fresh and unique, started with a dream that seemed so real, and so I am creating a book as a process of discovery, in terms of who is this person and what are they here to teach me.

I have loved loved loved Writing this novel.  Writing this novel is bringing me Joy.

I would love to see my Writing in print. Now that would be a dream come true.  Now that would bring me Joy too. 

For now I am just enjoying Writing for me.  Next year I will decide how to start the process of getting my Writing published, that will certainly start with the process of being brave enough to share my words. 

I do love my job - well most days - yet there is a part of me that would love to spend days and days just Writing.  For now I stay up late, once my children are in bed, to enjoy Writing.  Writing brings me Joy, and I hope that my Writing will one day bring Joy to others.  I know my children will be filled with Joy if, or perhaps I should say when, I can give them a copy of my books. 

Breastfeeding

Tonight is the end of my breastfeeding journey. I have loved this special time with my children. It has brought me Joy. It has brought my children Joy. It has cemented a closeness that I cherish. I feel a mix of emotions. I am mostly sad and feel flat. 

Tonight I remember when my dream come true and I had my baby girl. I knew nothing about breastfeeding. I wasn’t really prepared or certainly hadn’t put time into thinking about it. When my daughter was born and they brought her to me in recovery and my little girl attached and breastfed I was so in love looking at her and felt so bonded with my girl. I was so in love and excited and Joyful. 

While I thought everything was on track with my darling girl Breastfeeding, it was on the day of her being weighed that I felt crushed and devastated that my darling girl had lost more than 10% weight. I was blessed to have incredible  Lactation Consultants who supported me and helped our Breastfeeding “to work”. 

My husband was an incredible supporter of my Breastfeeding. Right from the start of our Parenthood that we share, he has been everything I could ask for and more. When it was tough and the Clinic where I had Mothers’ Group started putting pressure on me to use formula and I even rushed and bought formula, my husband encouraged me, reassured me, told me that our baby girl was “happy and healthy” and that there was no reason to use formula, that Breastfeeding was right for us and our baby. 

So I persisted. I was determined. We learnt all about Breastfeeding pumps, not soon enough however or we rushed in too quickly as first we bought a manual one, then an automatic one pump one and then finally the best of all, the double breastfeeding pump. We also hired a hospital grade one too. We decided to give Breastfeeding the priority. I would wake up through the night which is normal and then after feeding my baby would stay up and pump. Our little girl thrived and I was happy that I was Breastfeeding.  We had so much support from the Lactation Consultants and nurses at Kareena Hospital where they would let us come on a Sunday for our girl to be weighed and they were always encouraging and supportive.  At 5 months my little girl settled into the bed next to me for co-sleeping.  This made Breastfeeding so much easier and we all got more sleep.  I told my hubby that when we had another baby we would bring them to bed from day 1 as it made Breastfeeding through the night easier and meant more rest for me.  Getting up through the night was hard yet for our baby, we would do everything.  Our darling girl breastfed until 2 years and 4 months where I then had to stop because I was starting IVF the next day as we prayed for another baby.  My little girl was independent and ready and was happy with the presents of special books and a Raggedy Anne Doll.  

As we prepared for our baby boy to be born, I contacted the hospital, and the Lactation Consultants were so helpful again.  Once my darling boy was born they brought him to me in recovering and our unique Breastfeeding time together started and I was overjoyed to bond with my little precious baby boy.  I kept my daughter close to us so she felt loved and included by me.  My daughter had been my world yet my heart grew bigger and there was plenty of love for all of us.  Breastfeeding for my little boy has brought so much Joy.  It has nurtured and strengthened our bond and closeness.  I have fed him when he has been sad, or tired or crying.  I fed him during teething and it made the pain go away.  I fed him during needles, after vaccinations, in hospital beds, in our bed.  Always in our bed, my little boy nestled next to me from day 1.  My husband has been amazing and trusted me with what my children needed, what I needed, what I need as a Mum.  I have loved Breastfeeding my little boy before he goes to sleep, bringing him peace and helping him relax and him trusting me completely, loving me completely.  Breastfeeding has helped build this strong bond.  I am blessed that I have been able to experience the Joy of Breastfeeding.

Of course through the journey there was times of not enough milk, sleepless nights pumping to get more milk, my little girl crying through the night for me, crying for the boobs, and me waking up at one point every 45 minutes to soothe her back to sleep.  There was mastitis time and time again where I would send my hubby out to get cabbage leaves and then as my children got older, sometimes needed antibiotics to get rid of the infection.  Yet it was all worth it.  Every moment with my children Breastfeeding them, connecting with them.

I feel sad that my Breastfeeding time has come to an end.  I will look back at the many many photos I would ask my hubby to take, so that I would have the photos to secure the memories yet so often I would make sure I was just fully present, in the moment, to truly capture the moment in my mind's eye, in my heart, a forever memory.  

Tonight I wanted the last Breastfeeding time to be special.  I wanted to read my son's baby books to him which I did, his special books.  And I gave him 2 Cars cars as a special little present.  I also had my daughter's baby books out too and we got out Ragerty Ann.  Yet my daughter was tired and then my son was tired and it didn't go to plan.  My tired was upset, I got upset.  My daughter wouldn't let us take photos and although I do make sure I am in the moment and it is about the moment, I also find Joy in capturing the moment too.  My hubby was wonderful as always.

After up and down stairs, back and forward between rooms, everything finally settled down. I gave my precious son, at 4 years and 9 months his last breastfeed, just the two of us, in the dark of the night, co-sleeping.  I said I love you.  He released my boob, cuddled into me, his arm wrapped around my neck, his head on my pillow and he fell asleep next to me, happy and comfortable and us both at peace.  Having my darling boy so cuddly next to me and knowing he can go to sleep now without Breastfeeding brings me peace.  I am sad that this is the end yet am using this as a chance to set the important plan to focus on my health.  On Tuesday I have a hernia operation and so I chose this date to signify that I need to focus on my health now.  As we head towards my son's Birthday of him turning 5 years I also want to allow him to build confidence and grow up too.

I feel sad, I feel flat and this is normal.  While Joy is my intention, I allow myself to experience the sadness and trust Joy awaits me too.

As a Mum I need to continually find the connection with my children.  I need to put time into my children, into strengthening our bond.  My daughter has just turned 8 years and almost acts like a teenager not wanting to be with me, not wanting to be seen with me, cranky at me, often upset with me.  Friday night Movie Night is the new opportunity to bond with my daughter.  My little boy just loves closeness, cuddles, kisses.  My son loves being my shadow.  My little boy loves sitting right next to me, arms touching, connected.  Now that my Breastfeeding, our Breastfeeding, has ended, I will stay close to my son, I will cuddle next to him as he sleeps next to me on my pillow.  I will enjoy it, moment by moment, every moment.  It is these precious moments that bring Joy.

Playgrounds

Going to Playgrounds definitely bring Joy to our family. And Joy to me watching the Joy and delight on my children’s faces.

Playgrounds defined as “playparks, or play areas are places specifically designed to enable children to play there, it is typically outdoors”.

Sometimes it’s easy to stay home. Everyone is tired after a week of school and work. Even when the idea of going to Playgrounds comes up, sometimes I still feel like staying home. Yet to come out in the sun and fresh air and see my children having fun is definitely a ticket to Joyful.

Last year on my daughter’s Birthday when she was 7 years we went to 7 Playgrounds. This year, this week we plan to go to 8 Playgrounds.

My children love the swings, climbing equipment, seesaws. My girl loves flying foxes. They love when they can scooter. I love when we can kick a ball and run around.

We are blessed where we live that there are so many great Playgrounds where we live. Plus it is fun to explore new Playgrounds too where we took a drive down the coast and had the best fun at a beachside park. It is fun to be explorers and have an adventure too. These are all elements to create Joy.

The great thing about Playgrounds is that they are an invitation to Presence. In Presence, where I am totally in the moment, 100% present, I find that Joy comes naturally and easily. In the moment where I am relaxed and not thinking, I am happy and Joyful.

Now that I am due back at the Office next week I want to make a point, a plan to go to more Playgrounds in the afternoon after school.  My children have so much energy and I want them to have fun.  Rushing the children home from school so that I can work and letting them just be on their tablets is not bringing me Joy.  It brings me guilt.  Guilt I am not a good Mum.  It makes me feel rushed.  My intention is Joyful and going to Playgrounds always brings us Joy. 

After school we will go to Playgrounds close by our home, our favourite Playgrounds.  Yet I would love to explore new Playgrounds with my children - to go on drives and find new Playgrounds for them to enjoy.  That is also a plan - a plan to bring in Joy. 

Quiet

Quiet - I crave it - I need it - I love it - it brings me Joy. I rarely get it and that’s okay because I’m busy in my work and busy as a Mum and when I’m feeling anxious even the Quiet is hard to enjoy.

Quiet defined as “making no noise or sound, especially no disturbing sound”, “in a state of rest or calm”, “with little or no sound, free from disturbing noise”, “characterised by an absence or near absence of agitation or activity”

The other day I went for a walk to Cronulla to buy some presents for the carline teachers. In the Quiet I try to relax and breathe and release the worry. 

In the Quiet I listen for inspiration, I listen for God’s whisper. Today in the Quiet, God tells me “I don’t have to have all of the answers”, “I don’t have to do everything now”. I find comfort and Joy when I feel God holding me, supporting me, reminding me.  God reminds me to be “led by the Spirit”. This reminder in the Quiet takes off the pressure. I breathe in the Quiet.

After I had Quiet time the other day, I bought a chai latte, came home and sat outside and tried to capture some more Quiet moments yet my darling boy, my little shadow, followed me, and chat chat chatted to me. And while the Quiet time was gone, I cuddled my son and my heart was filled with Joy.

I remember when I would walk each day and I loved it. Sometimes I would rush and call someone just to feel connected and I do love a good chat. Yet when I can grab an hour to myself, the best time is when I can have Quiet time. In the Quiet I can feel refreshed, at peace, encouraged, inspired. In the Quiet I find Joy, I feel Joy. 

And now I crave more Quiet, I crave slow, I crave time without the phone calls, without talking for work, without talking (except of course to my children, I love talking with my children and husband too).  I am off work this week and hope to have more Quiet time, time to rest and recharge.    

Giving

I love Giving - it gives me so much Joy.  I love seeing my children Giving and being generous - this definitely brings me so much Joy. 

Giving defined as “making gifts or donations”, “providing love or other emotional support; caring”

I love teaching my children about Giving - and teaching them and showing them and involving them - and then seeing them Giving to others too.

I love that in our street we have been getting to know each other and Giving too.

It all started with our neighbour, across the road, Giving us fresh eggs.  They explained they had chickens.  Last school holidays we looked after the chickens and enjoyed Giving the eggs each day to the other neighbours. 

Around the same time we started getting our fruit and vegetable box delivered each week and we always have so much fruit and vegetable.   And so the last few months I have been Giving food to my neighbour and I especially love making soup or vegetable dishes and Giving them to my neighbours.  I really get so much Joy from Giving and sharing and I love when my children can come with me and are involved in the Giving too.

I love that my children love Giving presents to their friends and their teachers.  My hubby in particular races around buying chocolates and presents so that our children feel Joyful in their thoughtful and generous acts of Giving. 

I would much rather spend money on Giving or providing opportunities for my children to be Giving, then buying a fancy handbag or top or dress (not that there is anything wrong with buying nice things for ourselves, yet this is just the choice I often make or what brings me the most Joy). 

Giving is definitely one of our values - yet it is more than one of our values - it is a goal for our lives - actually a “must do”.

List

List defined as “a number of connected items or names written or printed consecutively, typically one below the other”, “a series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence as to constitute a record”.

It was my Birthday on 25 September 2020.  Next year I am 50 years.

On my Birthday I like to reflect and set goals. I like to imagine and ask the magic question - If I could be, do or have anything what would that be... 

And I have been reflecting too about Joy. I love my project of Joyful yet I was thinking yesterday whether I was missing something. I was pondering the question - is it possible to experience Joy yet not be overall happy? Or is discovering what brings in Joy and bringing more of that into our lives the key to a more happier life? 

I think of people who have experienced extreme tragedies. A friend of mine lost her beautiful daughter who was 6 years old. I would expect that happiness at her core would be almost an impossibility, her longing, her deep grief, her irreplaceable loss. Yet I would expect that Joy is within her reach, moments of Joy from her other children, when she can perhaps lose herself in the moment. 

Perhaps knowing what brings Joy and being able to initiate Joy is the most important, as happiness and sadness and all of the range of emotions is normal. And we need to make it okay to experience the emotions while also not dwelling or getting stuck in the darkness. Perhaps Joy is a tool - accessible, easily achievable, ready and waiting for us.

Yesterday I was thinking of Joy like lollies or treats - fleeting moments, sparks that light you up.

Yet my goal is Joyful, rather than just Joy, or moments of Joy. 

In order to be thorough I am setting myself a List to focus on alongside my Joyful goal to ensure that as I am moving towards Joyful I can also guarantee Happy and Healthy Living for myself and my family. 

For me a List is about being organised and focused.  It is a to do List.  A reminder for me.  I love acronyms that help me remember my List.    This List is about me being proactive in my quest for Joyful.

W heel of Life Review 

H appiness Research and Action

Y ou and Me - My strengths, who am I, my uniqueness and seeing and acknowledging uniqueness in others

 

W ork and Purpose, Writing and Business

H ealth - ME REFS (What is good for my Mental Health and Esteem plus Relax and Rest and Sleep, Exercise, Food and Self-Care)

E veryday Routines

N eat and Tidy and Organised

 

Now - Be Here Now - The Present Of Presence

 

I love a List. Creating a clear List brings Joy. Ticking items off the List brings Joy. Completing the List brings Joy.

I know when I write a List for work I feel more organised and it takes away feelings of anxiety and creates Joy for me. 

By making a daily List I am confident this will increase my Joy. 

The List I have created on my Birthday is an ambitious List that clearly highlights areas to focus on, as I focus on Joyful. It will involve review and reflection and research and new routines too. 

Writing this List to focus on as I move towards the big 5 0 has brought me Joy.

I know in writing a List it has to be kept handy and so I will print out this List and make sure I can see it so that I can make a point to ensure I focus on this List - to completing the List.  Completing the List or staying true to the List will bring me Joy. 

This week I must also compile a List of what I have written about so far - what brings me Joy - so that I can be proactive in bringing Joy into my life, our lives. 

Breakfast

Breakfast is a delicious and healthy way to start the day. 

Breakfast defined as “a meal eaten in the morning, the first of the day”, “breaking the fasting period of the previous night”.

My favourite day in day out breakfast is muesli with cut up apple. I also really like my children to have a healthy breakfast - cut up apple every morning (I hate to have to nag most mornings) and cereal and toast too for my girl.

On special occasions of Mother's Day and Father's Day we go out for breakfast.

When I have a window of time to myself which is rare I like to treat myself to breakfast.

And so here I am, I’ve taken a day off work today to enjoy, seek Joy, relax the day before my Birthday, and so here I am at breakfast.

I love poached eggs. I love sourdough. I love a chai latte. I love to sit in the quiet. I love to sit here and write as I wait for my Breakfast.

Such Joy. 

I like to take photos of my Breakfast when I’m out, so beautifully presented.

And then the delight of eating Breakfast. Joy!

Imperfection

I am making imperfection okay, I am promoting Imperfection. I am trying to find Joy in the imperfection. Laughing it off, letting it go. 

Imperfection defined as “a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature”, “a detail that makes something (or someone) less than perfect.”

In the mornings I am always in a rush. I rush to put socks on my son and they are usually odd socks. Sometimes we get lucky and there is a pair, a lotto moment (well perhaps not as exciting as of you won the lotto, yet there is a ‘yes’ and a Joy in that room, a Joy when you got that right). Yet I am thinking of the Joy that comes from it being okay not to be perfect, not to get it right. I didn’t think my little boy noticed his odd socks, yet thought it was funny the other day and we laughed about it. 

Always in the morning I’m rushing to get my daughter’s hair done and I used to try to get it perfect. Although my girl often is a great reminder that “it doesn’t have to be perfect” and I love hearing these words. Now if there are bumps or lumps in the ponytail I feel happy with myself. Happy in accepting the Imperfection, Joyful I can let go of the perfection.

My daughter initially in Year 1 would always get 10/10 for spelling yet I was so happy when she started getting some wrong. I say well done when as long as my daughter has put time and effort into learning them. I want to embrace the Imperfection, allowing not getting it right to bring a laugh and Joy.

The other night I sent out 23 invitations for my daughter’s Birthday.  And then last night realised there was no address on the invitation. Mistake.  Imperfection. We laughed about it. 

Sometimes in trying so hard to get it right as a Mum it brings up so much tension and so much guilt about what I’m not doing right. There is so much Imperfection. So much time and effort could go into trying to get it right all the time at work or trying to have the perfect home yet I know I cannot be perfect. I don’t want my children to have to be perfect either. Most importantly to me is that I put my time and effort into loving and spending time with my children. And I want to continue to be  open and transparent and more then okay in the moments and experiences of imperfection. 

I had set a goal of 2 posts per week and was on track, yet I have become behind with this goal now.  And I am okay with that - I am allowing myself to be okay and to not have to be perfect - while still aiming and ensuring for the 100 post goal. 

It is the night before my Birthday and today and tomorrow I will be thinking about my goals for the next 12 months as I head towards the big 50 - yet I do want to make sure I allow Imperfection, that there is room for Imperfection and that I find the humour and Joy in Imperfection.  I want to model to my children that we strive to do our best, by putting in our best effort, and in that attempt, it is okay for us to make mistakes.  I want my home to be filled with love and Joy. I want to be confident in myself with my Imperfection and my children to always feel loved exactly as they are too.

Countdown

We love a Countdown in our house.

Countdown defined as “counting of numbers backwards before important event; period just before important event”.

We are currently on Countdown to my daughter’s Birthday - 7 days to go. Plus we are on Countdown to my Birthday too which is 5 days away. Yes my Birthday is sooner. Yet my daughter’s Birthday is the big one for us. Of course my hubby and children spoil me too yet I’m always planning and looking forward to my girl’s Birthday.

My son is always on a Countdown - he asks me very often “how many more sleeps”. My little boy, like most children, loves his Birthday, and as soon as the party is over he starts asking “is it still my Birthday”, “is it my Birthday again soon”, and then “when is my Birthday”, “how many more sleeps”.

My son loves the Countdown. Today I promised to print out the months of a calendar and write  important dates in the calendar so that he can see and Countdown himself.  I must print them out for him tomorrow - the day got away from us today with playdates and dinner and getting the children to bed not too late.

Having a Countdown builds excitement and gives us an occasion to look forward to in the future. Having a Countdown brings Joy, builds Joy - the closer we get to the date, the more excited we are, the more Joyful. 

Having a Countdown helps with planning and being organised too, ensuring we are ready for each big day - ensuring we maximise the Joy. 

There are other times when we Countdown and it is moving towards a transition and in this type of Countdown there is grief and sadness.  I am in a Countdown at the moment towards stopping breastfeeding with my son.  I am having an operation on 20 October 2020 and so the night before will be the final night to connect and comfort my boy in this way.  I am sad when I think about this transition.  And my darling boy will be sad too.  And I know I have to make it okay to be in the sadness and to share the sadness with him.  And I will take photos to remember the moment.  The precious moment, the precious moments - the precious time shared with my son and my daughter.  I will reflect on my breastfeeding journey and in those memories there is Joy.  Plus there is Joy in the closeness I have with my beautiful boy and darling girl and I will wrap them in my arms and be present to the love I have for my children, and this will not change on that day or ever - I am blessed with such an incredible Joy of being a Mum.

Effort

Effort defined as “a vigorous or determined attempt”, “hard work”, “an exertion of strength or power”, “the use of physical or mental energy”.

I love when I put in my best Effort at work. Most days I am exhausted as I work hard each day yet I do feel a sense of Joy when I know I’ve put in the Effort.

I also love when my daughter puts in the Effort too - seeing the Effort brings me joy - and then the results also bring Joy. 

The other day at work we had another Marketing Challenge and I’m always determined to put in my best Effort. I beat my personal best in terms of results and also won the competition. I was happy that I put my best Effort in, and of course I was excited that I came first, yet most excited that I worked hard. 

My daughter also had a win the other week as a result of her Effort. There was a Science Competition at school and Emma got involved, showed her interest, put in the time and Effort and was the Winner for her Stage 1 group.  So happy for my girl that she can learn the lesson of Effort and I can explain about feeling happy and Joyful about her trying her best. 

Effort is really important to me.  When I give my best Effort, I am Joyful.  When I see my hubby working hard and putting in so much Effort into his work, I am Joyful.  I really want my daughter to always give her best Effort to school and activities.  For my children to learn this lesson about Effort will bring me so much Joy. 

I am trying my best to make sure the Effort I give is balanced across all areas of my life.  Sometimes I can put in so much Effort into work that I’m exhausted. And I need to make sure I have the energy and positivity to put in my best Effort to my children and my hubby and my Parents. My Effort with my family brings me the greatest Joy.  I want my Effort to reflect my love for them and bring them Joy too. 

Hugs

So much Joy can come from Hugs, embracing another - where you feel relaxed and present in the moment.  Hugs are such a simple gesture that is so full of love.

Hugs defined as "an act of holding someone lightly in one's arms, typically to express affection" and another definition states "to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace, to cling firmly or fondly, to cherish". 

I find it interesting the words "lightly" as the almost opposite of "tightly".  I find it can depend on who you are sharing a hug with - my children I want tightly. 

My little boy loves Hugs.  And I love his Hugs. In the morning when my son wakes up, he puts out his arms and likes to be picked up and given Hugs. The other morning he kept coming up to me wanting more Hugs and so I stopped and embraced him, and closed my eyes and I just felt this moment in my heart.  I want to make sure I grab these moments and stop - I want to slow down.

My little boy sleeps next to me - well he has done since he came from the hospital as a newborn and he just loves being next to me, right next to me, arm linked through mine and his head on my pillow. We are transitioning him into his room yet I do love him close to me and miss him when he doesn’t sleep next to me. The closeness and the Hugs from him bring me so much Joy.  My boy always wants to be next to me, sitting next to me, right next to me.  I hope he always wants to give his Mum these beautiful Hugs and be close to me. 

When my little boy cries, we hold him close and he looks to us for Hugs, he calms down with Hugs.  My heartbreaks when he is crying and the Hugs are a privilege - to be the one to comfort him, calm him.

My daughter is always on the go, yet before she goes to bed I try to give her Hugs too, they are quick yet still bring me Joy.  I want to wrap my arms around my girl and let her know how much I love her, today and always.  

During Covid, and the rule of 1.5 metres apart, Hugs are not freely given.  I miss being able to be close to my parents the most.  

 Lucky I can still give my children Hugs.  I miss my hubby sometimes and need to give him more Hugs - yet we are always in a hurry and busy.  

To bring in more Joy I want to give more Hugs and be ready to grab a moment to embrace my family.  I want to slow down and just be with them more, holding them tightly, loving them, being close to them.

Children

My Children bring me so much Joy.

When I married my hubby I was so excited and happy, he was my dream come true.  And then we made our dream come true by having our beautiful Children.

Children defined as “your son or your daughter, a person who hasn’t yet grown up”. 

Being a Mum has brought me the greatest Joy.  I love my Children so much - they are everything to us.  They bring so much Joy.

I find life so so so busy - too busy most times.  I want to slow it down yet so often I then create projects and events to build fun, excitement, Joy.  Yet the consistent and easiest ways for me to bring Joy into my moments, my days, my life is to just be with my Children, be present with my Children.

I absolutely love looking at my Children, looking at their beautiful faces - instant Joy.  I love when they smile and laugh - instant Joy.  I love when I pick them up from school and as soon as I see their faces I am so excited - instant Joy.  I am much less happy when I drop them to school - I miss them - I send them off with love and tell them to have a great day.  I love love love hearing their stories - they are both full of chat and excitement - I love their stories - instant Joy.  I love hugs and kisses from my Children - instant Joy.  I love when we play board games or ball together or go to the park and I can just be present, in their company, with them - with no distractions, no phone calls, no work - just having fun together - instant Joy.  I love seeing my hubby having fun with my Children and they are all happy and laughing - instant Joy.  I love telling my Children that I love them - instant Joy.  I love when they tell me that they love me - instant Joy.  I look at them when they are sleeping and they are so relaxed and at peace - instant Joy. 

I am blessed!  I am so grateful to God for giving us our Children.  Each day I am blessed by having my beautiful Children.

Now for me my goal is to not be so busy, not feel like I am working all of the time, not appear to my children to be so busy or so much to do at work.  I want my children to know they are everything to me - everything to us.  My family is my world.  As a priority I want to be with them and present with them and bring Joy to their lives, our lives. 

Review

Well I have now completed 26 posts and am just over a quarter towards my goal of 100 posts. 

I think it is positive to Review what I have written so far, on my journey of being Joyful. 

Review defined as “to think or talk about something again, in order to make changes to it or to make  a decision”, “to look over, study or examine again”, “to consider retrospectively, look back on”, “to evaluate”, “a formal assessment of something with the intention of instituting change if necessary”.

I do love having an Intention of being Joyful and Joy Filled.  I have loved the experience of setting an Intention which has raised my awareness each day of my goal and focus. 

I look back on my posts and I love that I have listed down what I would now call as my Joy Starters.  A Review of my Posts shows me some of “my favourite things” and what brings me Joy - doing the Basics, a Challenge, Autumn, Photos, Sunshine, Exercise, Fresh food and eggs, Cooking, the Declutter process, Kookaburras, Winter highlights, keeping up to date with my Washing, being Outdoors, I love Ideas and Projects, Chatting always lifts me up, I love my Parents, plus Fruit, Recycling, Creating, Platters, Welcoming my family home, seeing the Strengths in others, Sleep and Brownies.  Looking at this list, I now plan to type up this list, and put it up on my wall so I see it every day. 

I think everyone should have their list and be active in pursuing Joy.

I love the process of a Review as a great opportunity to bring forward, consciously, into my future, these things that do bring me Joy.

When I look at my list I also note, and want to make a mention, that this list is in no particular order.  If it was in order I would put my Family as the number one topic.  I would also have a post about my Children who bring me so much Joy.

In my thinking and pondering time, I think that I have this focus of Joy since I have had my struggles with anxiety, and without a conscious effort to chase Joy, bring in Joy, notice Joy, I also feel that I could fall into darkness too - despite all of the light in my life.  With the stress of the coronavirus and the stress of work, there are times every day where I feel the stress and this can turn to anxiety and sometimes I feel down too.  Lucky for me I have my beautiful family who bring me instant Joy - my darling children light up my life.  I will do a post called Children, and write about my children who bring me so much Joy every day.  Being a Mum is the best gift in the world.

As I Review the list, I can also see that I have been focusing my attention on writing about what brings me Joy - rather than writing about the goal of bringing others Joy too.  I do believe that as I bring more Joy into my life, then this will make me a better Mum, and a better Wife and a better daughter, sister, Aunty, friend, neighbour.  As I become more Joyful this allows me to naturally, actively and proactively bring more Joy to others.  As I take note of what brings me Joy too, I want to also introduce these things to my children, so that I can see if they bring them Joy.  Plus I want to discover their unique Joy Starters and make sure they enjoy their days and have a happy life.

My posts do not talk much about my other emotions, the stress, the sadness sometimes, the worry, the headaches sometimes, the guilt - there is always the mother guilt – am I doing enough, am I doing a good job, do my children know how much I love them, do I bring them enough Joy or do I sometimes take away their fun and Joy.  My post is often about what brings me Joy during the tough times.  And for me finding the Tools to cope during the more difficult times is also key for me.  I must write a topic about Tools, about what I do and can do to cope or get through the anxious moments - and although Tools do not necessarily bring me Joy, they can certainly help in bringing me back to the Present.  I know that in the state of Presence, Joy can surprise me.  I am also determined that anxiety or other emotions do not rob me of Joy.

I also haven’t posted about what doesn’t bring me Joy - sometimes in recognising the opposite feeling this can then point to ideas to bring in more Joy.  I know that by taking something away or changing behaviour or routine or putting strategies in place this can lead to a more Joyful state. 

As I review the last paragraph, it is important to recognise the life is full of different emotions, and that this is life.  And it is important to recognise different emotions and different feelings – and feel the feelings – and then be able to move to the next state of feeling, rather than being overwhelmed by sadness or even the feeling of overwhelm.  My expectations are in check – I am not expecting to be in Joy all the time.  Yet I definitely want Joy to colour my days and bring smiles for myself and my family.   Sometimes the experience of a moment of Joy can bring in the feeling of happiness for a few hours or a day. 

I have enjoyed the opportunity to Review my posts and see where I am at, so that I can enjoy the process of bringing in Joy.  I definitely want there to be a sense of achievement next year too, not just in having written 100 posts, but in feeling different, and feeling a sense of more sunshine, more lightness and even more freedom in our home and lives - more Joy!