Frangipanis

I love Frangipanis. Frangipanis bring me Joy.

Frangipanis are defined as “a tropical American tree or shrub with clusters of fragrant white, pink or yellow flowers.”

I love seeing Frangipanis, so perfect growing on their beautiful trees. I love the yellow Frangipanis. I love the pink Frangipanis.

I love the fragrance of Frangipanis, bringing Joy to me.

I love when we lovingly look at the Frangipanis that have fallen on the ground and we collect them and bring them home and put them in a bowl of water. 

I love taking photos of Frangipanis. I love portrait mode on my phone camera, capturing the Frangipanis in focus and blurring the background. 

I love the memory of my friend having a Frangipanis bouquet for her wedding. I love the memory of my friend’s wedding. I love the memory of my friends who I don’t see now since they live faraway. 

I wish we had Frangipanis growing in our yard yet I am delighted and filled with Joy when I walk around the neighbourhood and see Frangipanis.  Such beauty - such beauty that brings me Joy. 

Neighbours

Neighbours, getting to know our Neighbours, building friendships with our Neighbours definitely brings us Joy. 

Neighbours defined as “a person living next door to or very near to the speaker or person referred to”, “is a person who lives nearby, normally in a house or apartment that is next door or, in the case of houses, across the street, some people form friendships with their neighbours, and help them by sharing their tools and helping with gardening tasks”. 

Our friendship with our Neighbours next door has brought us Joy - my children love our neighbour and her dog Bella.  Our neighbour spends Christmas Day with us and Easter and our Birthdays.  Our neighbour organises Easter Hunts in her garden for our children.  Our neighbour is in our Book Club.  Our neighbour, our friendship brings Joy.

Over the last year we have built friendships with our Neighbours - our neighbour with the chickens and the herbs and good conversation about composting, our neighbour with the little boy who has become one of my son’s best friends, the  neighbour who lives on his own and is always friendly and who enjoyed my soup and frittata last year and now the Neighbours across the road who was so kind to let us use their pool while they were on holidays.  Building friendships, getting to know our Neighbours, has brought us Joy, brings us Joy.

On Christmas Eve we walked around to our Neighbours wishing them Merry Christmas, handing our crackers and my darling girl sang Christmas carols.  It was a great time and filled us with Joy. 

I grew up in a culdesac which was fantastic as a way to hang out with Neighbours - we had freedom and fun and friendship.  Now we live on a main road and yet it has been exciting for us to get to know our Neighbours across the street and up and down the street.  We are committed to creating Joy in our neighbourhood and embracing the opportunities to bring Joy to our family too.    

Unexpected

The Unexpected is what provides the opportunity for spontaneity.  It is the Unexpected that can also bring Joy.

Unexpected defined as “something that was not planned or anticipated, occurring without warning”, “surprising”.

Last week we were walking up the road and the Unexpected happened when the neighbour across the road said that she was going away for the week and we were welcome to use their pool.  It was such a generous offer and changed our week.  The Unexpected bringing us Joy.  And now that they are back home, we feel an Unexpected friendship, a chatting, a getting to know our neighbours, a becoming of friends.

Last year we met new friends at the park, it was Unexpected, and their friendship has also brought us Joy. 

I also know that in my work and also in life there is the Unexpected - some which will bring Joy, and other times the Unexpected will bring other emotions.

In my work last year it was so Unexpected when my Manager told me that I could no longer work hours at home.  This was very Unexpected and did not bring Joy - not initially - there was shock, anger, worry - I wanted to fight back, fight for my rights, tell them of my success.  And then after chatting with my husband and thinking it through myself, I realised that this Unexpected change, had the opportunity to bring me Joy, to take away my work pressure, my stress, the anxiety, the guilt of trying to work while being at home with my children, while my children sit on their tablets playing computer games.  While this Unexpected decision by Management means less money for my family, this Unexpected decision has meant I get a lunchbreak and means I can take my children to the park and be more organised at home.  One of my favourite books that I always remember reading is ‘Your Money Or Your Life’ and now I feel I can live this dream - I choose to ‘work to live’, not ‘live to work’.  I choose my children, my husband, my family.  Once again the Unexpected bring Joy.

I know the Unexpected will not always bring the best yet I will choose to find the positive, focus on the light.  

On my daughter’s last day of school last year I took my daughter for a pedicure and manicure.  And then to our surprise, we saw one of my daughter’s friends and then we invited her for an ice chocolate - an Unexpected surprise that brought Joy - an opportunity for us to be spontaneous. 

And now as another school year is due to begin, I hope and pray that the Unexpected that is gifted to our family, brings us the greatest Joy, brings us the light, brings us sunshine. 

Spontaneity

Spontaneity, being spontaneous, definitely brings Joy.  I especially love embracing the spontaneous with my children.

Spontaneity defined as “the condition of being spontaneous”; “spontanenous behaviour or action; the state or quality of being spontaneous - happening naturally and without being planned”; “spontaneous behaviour, movement, action”.

I have loved the chance to embrace the Spontaneity over the school holidays.  One day we went to the beach and ran into one of my daughter’s friends and after they had a swim and play together I agreed for my daughter’s friend to come here for dinner and for them to hang out together.  It was fun, it was spontaneous, it created Joy.  It created Joy for my children.

Yesterday I was with my son at the front of the house and my neighbour was taking her dog for a walk - Spontaneity, embracing opportunities, requesting permission to embrace opportunities, comes natural for children.  In the next minute my little boy is grabbing his sandals and going for walk, hand in hand with our friend.  Spontaneity bringing him Joy and Joy to me too as I see his Joy.

Today we ask my other neighbour if we can have a swim in her pool, it was not planned, it was not expected, I just did it, respectively requested this privilege, and once again Spontenity brings Joy and the building of new friendships.

I have loved when my good friend and I have been spontenous and decided to go out for dinner together, almost on the spur of the moment.  Sometimes we try to plan and organise a date in advance and it’s hard to make it happen - and yet when we embrace the Spontaneity, it can happen easily and naturally and bring Joy.

We love being spontaneous too, being in the moment and letting the moment carry us in a new direction. 

Seeing my children, so excited when I say yes as we grab an opportunity, brings me great Joy.  I also almost have a sense of accomplishment when I have seized the opportunity and demonstrated Spontaneity - that I have allowed myself to be in the flow and this brings me Joy too.

I also like the Spontaneity of my children “let’s look out the window tonight and see what we can see” and surprisingly we see a possum in the tree and I love the excitement and Joy it brings us all.  I am not good with a routine, I want to be better at it sometimes, and yet I do love a sense of flexibility which does often leads to the opportunity and Joy of Spontaneity.  Tonight I could have said “lights out and everyone to bed”, yet I find myself calling out to my little boy and we sit perched at the window looking for the possum’s tail, seeing if it is okay, watching it descend in the dark.  In these moments of togetherness we feel the Joy. 

Friends

We love our Friends.  We make time for Friends.  We make time and invest time in making Friends and strengthening these special bonds.  Friends bring us all Joy. 

Friends defined as “people with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations” (and I didn’t really want to use the ‘s’ word in my writing), “people attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard”. 

I also really like the wording used of “the definition of a true friend is someone who has your back, no matter what.  They watch out for you and ensure you are not in danger.  They will never purposely lead you into making decisions that aren’t good for you.  A true friend will always have your best interest at heart”.

Friends for our children are the greatest blessing.  Playdates with Friends and playing at the park with Friends brings Joy to us all.

My daughter and son love having Friends to hang out with and love when their Friends invite them to their place too.  This makes us all happy as I love to see my children Joyful.

We do like having their Friends here too and we pull out craft and games and activities.  We love to have theme nights such as Pizza Parties or the Teddy Bear Picnic when my daughter was younger and love having Friends over for Halloween.

My hubby is also a great keeper of Friends – he values his Friends and makes time for his Friends.  And he also encourages me to make time for my Friends too.

Facebook, texting, sharing of photos by phone has encouraged sharing and closeness and connection, I believe, if used correctly, as an extension of building the relationship with your Friends.  For me, I do not use it as a substitute for time with my Friends, as for me face-to-face, taking the time, sharing time together, is the best of time with Friends.  Plus it is just me, yet I no longer like talking on the phone, I get sick of talking on the phone, with the exception of my Mum and Dad, my hubby and a few close Friends.  Yet even talking on the phone to me is just secondary to time spent together with Friends.

Often the word ‘friends’ is used so broadly on Facebook - where Facebook ‘friends’ often include acquaintances, people from your past that are no longer your Friends (or your enemies), your family members that are close and distant and your Friends too.  Also in childcare centres they say everyone is your friend and it is lovely to be in such a magic land of love and care, yet of course in these environments, there are the standouts, the Friends, the people that bring you Joy from being in their company.  It is the same if you are a child or an adult. 

We love having Friends over for afternoon tea - this is our specialty and is enjoyable for our family and hopefully our Friends too. 

I like where your true Friends can see your messy house with duplo or artwork scattered across your loungeroom and you can laugh about the struggles of motherhood.  I love that you can be yourself with your true Friends - that you are willing for them to see you at your best and you feel comfortable being real when you are not feeling at your best.  I love when you can have a good deep and meaningful with your Friends – that they trust you, and you trust them – and you know it is in the vault.  I love having Friends with whom you can laugh – that is with the best of Friends.  I love to laugh with my Friends – this definitely brings me Joy.

I thank my Friends for being my Friends.  I thank God for my Friends.  I thank God for my children’s Friends and the parents of my children’s Friends who make the friendships possible.  I commit to making Friends a priority, as being in company can bring in so much Joy and allow us the opportunities to bring Joy to others too.    

Couple-Time

Couple-Time, time with my hubby, definitely brings me Joy.

It is sometimes hard to find the time for Couple-Time.  Often after a day of working, or even now I am on holidays, I find my time consumed with my children.  And then once they are finally in bed, I am exhausted, I am spent, there is not much left.  And all that is left, are the minutes and hours I want to spend in the quiet – the time I wish for my own time, my me-time.

The definition of Couple-Time is “time when couples relax and snuggle”.  I am sure my hubby would enjoy more time to “snuggle”.  I do like the Couple-Time moments when we embrace in a hug or a kiss in the kitchen. 

I really like when we get to sit down together at our dining table and enjoy afternoon tea or a cuppa or dinner together - I like time, Couple-Time to chat and connect with each other.

It is such a treat when we can enjoy dinner out as Couple-Time, when are children are being looked after by their grandmother.  We are always full of appreciation for my Mother-In-Law for these opportunities where we can get dressed up, go out for dinner, enjoy a glass of wine and just enjoy each other’s company.  “Date night” is what us married couples call it - just like the times when we were dating, before marriage, before children, before when it was just ‘us’.

Sometimes now it is easy to just let each other do our individual own thing, to just do our own hobbies and have quiet time.  And it is great that we can co-exist in this space where my hubby is doing his hobby and I am writing or making a Photobook while watching a movie - in this space we are both happy and happy that the other person is happy in their own space too.  Yet finding time for Couple-Time is really important as being together definitely fills my heart with Joy.

Making Couple-Time a priority is definitely a priority for me, as I want us to keep connecting and to feel connected and to feel close and to be in a Joy-Filled relationship. 

Me-Time

Me-Time definitely brings me Joy, brings me peace. 

Me-Time defined as “time spent relaxing on one’s own as opposed to working or doing things for others, seehave n as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy”.

My Me-Time usually happens at this time of night, late, usually from 9/9:30pm.  It happens late when it is quiet and the children are asleep.

My Me-Time usually involves watching Netflix – I love movies and TV series.  My hubby is good to me, he lets me have the tv to myself at night.  I really must let my hubby watch more of his shows this year.

My Me-Time involves writing - I really love writing and this Me-Time brings Joy. 

My Me-Time involves catching up with friends for dinner, my Book Club, walking around the block (I love walking around the block and being outside and being out in nature).  I feel Joyful in these Me-Time moments. 

My Me-Time can involve putting on my earphones and listening to country music.  I really love country music - this brings me Joy.

My Me-Time is a great time to look at photos of my beautiful family and make Photobooks.  I look making Photobooks, I love finishing a Photobook, I love when the Photobook arrives in the mail and I love looking through my new Photobook. 

My Me-Time involves having baths at night.  

My Me-Time involves looking at Facebook.

My Me-Time involves looking at photos and videos of dogs on Facebook.

My Me-Time sometimes involves eating chocolate at night and regretting it and deciding to stop eating chocolate at night as this does not bring me Joy. 

I want to do what brings me Joy and most importantly to me is making sure that my family are filled with Joy too.  I want my children and my hubby to be happy and Joyful and at peace when they go to sleep – I want them to have Joy each day too.

And yet sometimes in my rush to get into the Me-Time part of my night, I get tired and cranky at my little ones and this can destroy their Joy in those moments, in their moments.  And really my time with them is more important to me than my Me-Time.  My time with them in the time I treasure the most.  My time with them, being present with them, totally present gives me the greatest Joy.  And so perhaps I am too ambitious to try to have Me-Time or so much Me-Time at night and should just grab a slice of Me-Time at another time so that I can be there for my children when they want me most - at night time.  Says one part of me!  The bigger part of me!  And then another part of me calls out and says "what about me?", "you need your time too".  

My Me-Time is a precious treat and definitely a necessity for me, to do some of the things I love to do, and yet I want to balance this or fit this in around my children - making my children, my family is my focus.

Also with my Me-Time I often stay up late, later than I should, to do everything I want to do, and in the doing what I love to do, I definitely experience Joy- even if it means I sometimes/ usually feel tired when I first wake up and promise myself that early nights and more sleep will also bring Joy.

Reset

Today I’ve been in a bad mood, cranky for a lot of different reasons, mainly because of the mess in our lounge room, so many bits and pieces of games and toys and art all over the place.  

My goal of the 70-80% Clean was definitely not feeling close. It was possibly within reach with dedicated effort yet my overwhelming feeling was me definitely sick of cleaning up one minute and then it being a mess the next minute.  

I’m upset about other matters outside of my control too, matters I’m trying to control.  I need to Reset my mindset.  

But back to our home - I want our home to be Clean. I want our home to be a place where someone can knock on the door and you feel happy and welcoming and not embarrassed by a messy space. This goal takes teamwork and commitment and I need to find a better way. And then I decide I can find a better way, the solution, another day.

I decide to Reset, to choose to Reset. I choose to make my family lunch. I choose to sit down and do some of Cameron’s 4 years Birthday photobook. I choose to write a chapter of my novel.

Reset defined as "to set again or differently".

I choose to Reset and help my children set up for a Facepainting Station. I choose to Reset my day, let go of the upset, I choose to enjoy and create and follow my son’s idea of a Christmas Treasure Hunt. I choose to Reset and invite two friends from the neighbourhood. 

I choose to Reset and relax in the bath and let go of the worry of the mess and there being so much to do and decide right now to set a timer for one hour and  dive in tomorrow and clean up.

I choose to Reset and reclaim the day, reclaim today. I choose to Reset to enjoy my day with my children. I am so blessed to have such beautiful children. I am so blessed to have this day.

By choosing Reset I have chosen Joy, I have allowed the space to bring in Joy.  And as I relax in the bath I look at the photos of our day and I am filled with Joy. And I hope as I text my neighbours some photos that they are filled with Joy too. 

3-Rule

It’s New Years Day and today I decided on the 3-Rule, I felt inspired by the 3-Rule.  I felt inspired to try the 3-Rule this year in 2021.  The thought of the 3-Rule brings me Joy and the I feel that having these weekly goals will bring me Joy too.

The definition of 3 is “a number that is one more than 2” - and Rule defined as “a fixed principle that determines conduct, habit, custom”, “one or a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct or procedure within a particular area of activity.”

My parents gave me the Australian Women’s Health Diary 2021 - it’s really great!  My Dad always buys this for my Mum and I’m excited that I have one this year too.  I am going to use this Diary to record by achievement towards my goals!

So my 3-Rule includes - every week:

- 3 times walking (started today and love walking and love when I have a job along the way too)

- 3 times sit-ups (felt good to exercise like I used to when I was super fit and healthy)

- 3 times stretching (this is definitely a goal for me and much needed)

- 3 times meditation for 10 mins (also felt good to relax and meditate today)

- 3 times declutter for 30 mins (achieved some great de-cluttering today and cleared out 101 items - winning!)

- 3 times fast in the morning (saves time, feels good to fast too)

- 3 times early to bed - before 9:45pm (really need this, need to make this commitment and follow through with this rule)

- 3 times writing (really love writing and want to make time for writing – and perhaps this can be the 3 times I let my husband watch his television show rather than me always choosing what I want to watch)

- 3 times activities with children - at least (had the best time at the park today, love being with my children, totally present, having fun)

- 3 times reading at night - at least (also loved reading children’s books with my children tonight)

 

Plus the 3 times ONLY rules:

- 3 times only treats per week (today I enjoyed treats, trying to take the guilt away and enjoy treats yet also put a limit on the number of treats I eat - this will be important as Easter comes closer, especially with Easter eggs already for sale and my family and me especially enjoying some Easter eggs and it feels good to not say I am going to give up treats or chocolate which is what I am always trying to do)

- 3 times only having TV dinners (it’s fun and relaxing, especially for the children, yet I really want more dinners at the table this year – a clean table, dinner with the family, conversation and laughter).

It’s not overly ambition yet it gives structure and goals for 2021. 

I weighed myself this morning and I want to be healthy and fit this year.  I don’t want to feel frumpy.  I am heading towards 50 years of age this year and I want to feel at my best - I want to be at my best for my children, for my family, for myself.  Being at my best with bring me Joy.