Quiet

Quiet - I crave it - I need it - I love it - it brings me Joy. I rarely get it and that’s okay because I’m busy in my work and busy as a Mum and when I’m feeling anxious even the Quiet is hard to enjoy.

Quiet defined as “making no noise or sound, especially no disturbing sound”, “in a state of rest or calm”, “with little or no sound, free from disturbing noise”, “characterised by an absence or near absence of agitation or activity”

The other day I went for a walk to Cronulla to buy some presents for the carline teachers. In the Quiet I try to relax and breathe and release the worry. 

In the Quiet I listen for inspiration, I listen for God’s whisper. Today in the Quiet, God tells me “I don’t have to have all of the answers”, “I don’t have to do everything now”. I find comfort and Joy when I feel God holding me, supporting me, reminding me.  God reminds me to be “led by the Spirit”. This reminder in the Quiet takes off the pressure. I breathe in the Quiet.

After I had Quiet time the other day, I bought a chai latte, came home and sat outside and tried to capture some more Quiet moments yet my darling boy, my little shadow, followed me, and chat chat chatted to me. And while the Quiet time was gone, I cuddled my son and my heart was filled with Joy.

I remember when I would walk each day and I loved it. Sometimes I would rush and call someone just to feel connected and I do love a good chat. Yet when I can grab an hour to myself, the best time is when I can have Quiet time. In the Quiet I can feel refreshed, at peace, encouraged, inspired. In the Quiet I find Joy, I feel Joy. 

And now I crave more Quiet, I crave slow, I crave time without the phone calls, without talking for work, without talking (except of course to my children, I love talking with my children and husband too).  I am off work this week and hope to have more Quiet time, time to rest and recharge.    

Giving

I love Giving - it gives me so much Joy.  I love seeing my children Giving and being generous - this definitely brings me so much Joy. 

Giving defined as “making gifts or donations”, “providing love or other emotional support; caring”

I love teaching my children about Giving - and teaching them and showing them and involving them - and then seeing them Giving to others too.

I love that in our street we have been getting to know each other and Giving too.

It all started with our neighbour, across the road, Giving us fresh eggs.  They explained they had chickens.  Last school holidays we looked after the chickens and enjoyed Giving the eggs each day to the other neighbours. 

Around the same time we started getting our fruit and vegetable box delivered each week and we always have so much fruit and vegetable.   And so the last few months I have been Giving food to my neighbour and I especially love making soup or vegetable dishes and Giving them to my neighbours.  I really get so much Joy from Giving and sharing and I love when my children can come with me and are involved in the Giving too.

I love that my children love Giving presents to their friends and their teachers.  My hubby in particular races around buying chocolates and presents so that our children feel Joyful in their thoughtful and generous acts of Giving. 

I would much rather spend money on Giving or providing opportunities for my children to be Giving, then buying a fancy handbag or top or dress (not that there is anything wrong with buying nice things for ourselves, yet this is just the choice I often make or what brings me the most Joy). 

Giving is definitely one of our values - yet it is more than one of our values - it is a goal for our lives - actually a “must do”.

List

List defined as “a number of connected items or names written or printed consecutively, typically one below the other”, “a series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence as to constitute a record”.

It was my Birthday on 25 September 2020.  Next year I am 50 years.

On my Birthday I like to reflect and set goals. I like to imagine and ask the magic question - If I could be, do or have anything what would that be... 

And I have been reflecting too about Joy. I love my project of Joyful yet I was thinking yesterday whether I was missing something. I was pondering the question - is it possible to experience Joy yet not be overall happy? Or is discovering what brings in Joy and bringing more of that into our lives the key to a more happier life? 

I think of people who have experienced extreme tragedies. A friend of mine lost her beautiful daughter who was 6 years old. I would expect that happiness at her core would be almost an impossibility, her longing, her deep grief, her irreplaceable loss. Yet I would expect that Joy is within her reach, moments of Joy from her other children, when she can perhaps lose herself in the moment. 

Perhaps knowing what brings Joy and being able to initiate Joy is the most important, as happiness and sadness and all of the range of emotions is normal. And we need to make it okay to experience the emotions while also not dwelling or getting stuck in the darkness. Perhaps Joy is a tool - accessible, easily achievable, ready and waiting for us.

Yesterday I was thinking of Joy like lollies or treats - fleeting moments, sparks that light you up.

Yet my goal is Joyful, rather than just Joy, or moments of Joy. 

In order to be thorough I am setting myself a List to focus on alongside my Joyful goal to ensure that as I am moving towards Joyful I can also guarantee Happy and Healthy Living for myself and my family. 

For me a List is about being organised and focused.  It is a to do List.  A reminder for me.  I love acronyms that help me remember my List.    This List is about me being proactive in my quest for Joyful.

W heel of Life Review 

H appiness Research and Action

Y ou and Me - My strengths, who am I, my uniqueness and seeing and acknowledging uniqueness in others

 

W ork and Purpose, Writing and Business

H ealth - ME REFS (What is good for my Mental Health and Esteem plus Relax and Rest and Sleep, Exercise, Food and Self-Care)

E veryday Routines

N eat and Tidy and Organised

 

Now - Be Here Now - The Present Of Presence

 

I love a List. Creating a clear List brings Joy. Ticking items off the List brings Joy. Completing the List brings Joy.

I know when I write a List for work I feel more organised and it takes away feelings of anxiety and creates Joy for me. 

By making a daily List I am confident this will increase my Joy. 

The List I have created on my Birthday is an ambitious List that clearly highlights areas to focus on, as I focus on Joyful. It will involve review and reflection and research and new routines too. 

Writing this List to focus on as I move towards the big 5 0 has brought me Joy.

I know in writing a List it has to be kept handy and so I will print out this List and make sure I can see it so that I can make a point to ensure I focus on this List - to completing the List.  Completing the List or staying true to the List will bring me Joy. 

This week I must also compile a List of what I have written about so far - what brings me Joy - so that I can be proactive in bringing Joy into my life, our lives. 

Breakfast

Breakfast is a delicious and healthy way to start the day. 

Breakfast defined as “a meal eaten in the morning, the first of the day”, “breaking the fasting period of the previous night”.

My favourite day in day out breakfast is muesli with cut up apple. I also really like my children to have a healthy breakfast - cut up apple every morning (I hate to have to nag most mornings) and cereal and toast too for my girl.

On special occasions of Mother's Day and Father's Day we go out for breakfast.

When I have a window of time to myself which is rare I like to treat myself to breakfast.

And so here I am, I’ve taken a day off work today to enjoy, seek Joy, relax the day before my Birthday, and so here I am at breakfast.

I love poached eggs. I love sourdough. I love a chai latte. I love to sit in the quiet. I love to sit here and write as I wait for my Breakfast.

Such Joy. 

I like to take photos of my Breakfast when I’m out, so beautifully presented.

And then the delight of eating Breakfast. Joy!

Imperfection

I am making imperfection okay, I am promoting Imperfection. I am trying to find Joy in the imperfection. Laughing it off, letting it go. 

Imperfection defined as “a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature”, “a detail that makes something (or someone) less than perfect.”

In the mornings I am always in a rush. I rush to put socks on my son and they are usually odd socks. Sometimes we get lucky and there is a pair, a lotto moment (well perhaps not as exciting as of you won the lotto, yet there is a ‘yes’ and a Joy in that room, a Joy when you got that right). Yet I am thinking of the Joy that comes from it being okay not to be perfect, not to get it right. I didn’t think my little boy noticed his odd socks, yet thought it was funny the other day and we laughed about it. 

Always in the morning I’m rushing to get my daughter’s hair done and I used to try to get it perfect. Although my girl often is a great reminder that “it doesn’t have to be perfect” and I love hearing these words. Now if there are bumps or lumps in the ponytail I feel happy with myself. Happy in accepting the Imperfection, Joyful I can let go of the perfection.

My daughter initially in Year 1 would always get 10/10 for spelling yet I was so happy when she started getting some wrong. I say well done when as long as my daughter has put time and effort into learning them. I want to embrace the Imperfection, allowing not getting it right to bring a laugh and Joy.

The other night I sent out 23 invitations for my daughter’s Birthday.  And then last night realised there was no address on the invitation. Mistake.  Imperfection. We laughed about it. 

Sometimes in trying so hard to get it right as a Mum it brings up so much tension and so much guilt about what I’m not doing right. There is so much Imperfection. So much time and effort could go into trying to get it right all the time at work or trying to have the perfect home yet I know I cannot be perfect. I don’t want my children to have to be perfect either. Most importantly to me is that I put my time and effort into loving and spending time with my children. And I want to continue to be  open and transparent and more then okay in the moments and experiences of imperfection. 

I had set a goal of 2 posts per week and was on track, yet I have become behind with this goal now.  And I am okay with that - I am allowing myself to be okay and to not have to be perfect - while still aiming and ensuring for the 100 post goal. 

It is the night before my Birthday and today and tomorrow I will be thinking about my goals for the next 12 months as I head towards the big 50 - yet I do want to make sure I allow Imperfection, that there is room for Imperfection and that I find the humour and Joy in Imperfection.  I want to model to my children that we strive to do our best, by putting in our best effort, and in that attempt, it is okay for us to make mistakes.  I want my home to be filled with love and Joy. I want to be confident in myself with my Imperfection and my children to always feel loved exactly as they are too.

Countdown

We love a Countdown in our house.

Countdown defined as “counting of numbers backwards before important event; period just before important event”.

We are currently on Countdown to my daughter’s Birthday - 7 days to go. Plus we are on Countdown to my Birthday too which is 5 days away. Yes my Birthday is sooner. Yet my daughter’s Birthday is the big one for us. Of course my hubby and children spoil me too yet I’m always planning and looking forward to my girl’s Birthday.

My son is always on a Countdown - he asks me very often “how many more sleeps”. My little boy, like most children, loves his Birthday, and as soon as the party is over he starts asking “is it still my Birthday”, “is it my Birthday again soon”, and then “when is my Birthday”, “how many more sleeps”.

My son loves the Countdown. Today I promised to print out the months of a calendar and write  important dates in the calendar so that he can see and Countdown himself.  I must print them out for him tomorrow - the day got away from us today with playdates and dinner and getting the children to bed not too late.

Having a Countdown builds excitement and gives us an occasion to look forward to in the future. Having a Countdown brings Joy, builds Joy - the closer we get to the date, the more excited we are, the more Joyful. 

Having a Countdown helps with planning and being organised too, ensuring we are ready for each big day - ensuring we maximise the Joy. 

There are other times when we Countdown and it is moving towards a transition and in this type of Countdown there is grief and sadness.  I am in a Countdown at the moment towards stopping breastfeeding with my son.  I am having an operation on 20 October 2020 and so the night before will be the final night to connect and comfort my boy in this way.  I am sad when I think about this transition.  And my darling boy will be sad too.  And I know I have to make it okay to be in the sadness and to share the sadness with him.  And I will take photos to remember the moment.  The precious moment, the precious moments - the precious time shared with my son and my daughter.  I will reflect on my breastfeeding journey and in those memories there is Joy.  Plus there is Joy in the closeness I have with my beautiful boy and darling girl and I will wrap them in my arms and be present to the love I have for my children, and this will not change on that day or ever - I am blessed with such an incredible Joy of being a Mum.

Effort

Effort defined as “a vigorous or determined attempt”, “hard work”, “an exertion of strength or power”, “the use of physical or mental energy”.

I love when I put in my best Effort at work. Most days I am exhausted as I work hard each day yet I do feel a sense of Joy when I know I’ve put in the Effort.

I also love when my daughter puts in the Effort too - seeing the Effort brings me joy - and then the results also bring Joy. 

The other day at work we had another Marketing Challenge and I’m always determined to put in my best Effort. I beat my personal best in terms of results and also won the competition. I was happy that I put my best Effort in, and of course I was excited that I came first, yet most excited that I worked hard. 

My daughter also had a win the other week as a result of her Effort. There was a Science Competition at school and Emma got involved, showed her interest, put in the time and Effort and was the Winner for her Stage 1 group.  So happy for my girl that she can learn the lesson of Effort and I can explain about feeling happy and Joyful about her trying her best. 

Effort is really important to me.  When I give my best Effort, I am Joyful.  When I see my hubby working hard and putting in so much Effort into his work, I am Joyful.  I really want my daughter to always give her best Effort to school and activities.  For my children to learn this lesson about Effort will bring me so much Joy. 

I am trying my best to make sure the Effort I give is balanced across all areas of my life.  Sometimes I can put in so much Effort into work that I’m exhausted. And I need to make sure I have the energy and positivity to put in my best Effort to my children and my hubby and my Parents. My Effort with my family brings me the greatest Joy.  I want my Effort to reflect my love for them and bring them Joy too. 

Hugs

So much Joy can come from Hugs, embracing another - where you feel relaxed and present in the moment.  Hugs are such a simple gesture that is so full of love.

Hugs defined as "an act of holding someone lightly in one's arms, typically to express affection" and another definition states "to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace, to cling firmly or fondly, to cherish". 

I find it interesting the words "lightly" as the almost opposite of "tightly".  I find it can depend on who you are sharing a hug with - my children I want tightly. 

My little boy loves Hugs.  And I love his Hugs. In the morning when my son wakes up, he puts out his arms and likes to be picked up and given Hugs. The other morning he kept coming up to me wanting more Hugs and so I stopped and embraced him, and closed my eyes and I just felt this moment in my heart.  I want to make sure I grab these moments and stop - I want to slow down.

My little boy sleeps next to me - well he has done since he came from the hospital as a newborn and he just loves being next to me, right next to me, arm linked through mine and his head on my pillow. We are transitioning him into his room yet I do love him close to me and miss him when he doesn’t sleep next to me. The closeness and the Hugs from him bring me so much Joy.  My boy always wants to be next to me, sitting next to me, right next to me.  I hope he always wants to give his Mum these beautiful Hugs and be close to me. 

When my little boy cries, we hold him close and he looks to us for Hugs, he calms down with Hugs.  My heartbreaks when he is crying and the Hugs are a privilege - to be the one to comfort him, calm him.

My daughter is always on the go, yet before she goes to bed I try to give her Hugs too, they are quick yet still bring me Joy.  I want to wrap my arms around my girl and let her know how much I love her, today and always.  

During Covid, and the rule of 1.5 metres apart, Hugs are not freely given.  I miss being able to be close to my parents the most.  

 Lucky I can still give my children Hugs.  I miss my hubby sometimes and need to give him more Hugs - yet we are always in a hurry and busy.  

To bring in more Joy I want to give more Hugs and be ready to grab a moment to embrace my family.  I want to slow down and just be with them more, holding them tightly, loving them, being close to them.

Children

My Children bring me so much Joy.

When I married my hubby I was so excited and happy, he was my dream come true.  And then we made our dream come true by having our beautiful Children.

Children defined as “your son or your daughter, a person who hasn’t yet grown up”. 

Being a Mum has brought me the greatest Joy.  I love my Children so much - they are everything to us.  They bring so much Joy.

I find life so so so busy - too busy most times.  I want to slow it down yet so often I then create projects and events to build fun, excitement, Joy.  Yet the consistent and easiest ways for me to bring Joy into my moments, my days, my life is to just be with my Children, be present with my Children.

I absolutely love looking at my Children, looking at their beautiful faces - instant Joy.  I love when they smile and laugh - instant Joy.  I love when I pick them up from school and as soon as I see their faces I am so excited - instant Joy.  I am much less happy when I drop them to school - I miss them - I send them off with love and tell them to have a great day.  I love love love hearing their stories - they are both full of chat and excitement - I love their stories - instant Joy.  I love hugs and kisses from my Children - instant Joy.  I love when we play board games or ball together or go to the park and I can just be present, in their company, with them - with no distractions, no phone calls, no work - just having fun together - instant Joy.  I love seeing my hubby having fun with my Children and they are all happy and laughing - instant Joy.  I love telling my Children that I love them - instant Joy.  I love when they tell me that they love me - instant Joy.  I look at them when they are sleeping and they are so relaxed and at peace - instant Joy. 

I am blessed!  I am so grateful to God for giving us our Children.  Each day I am blessed by having my beautiful Children.

Now for me my goal is to not be so busy, not feel like I am working all of the time, not appear to my children to be so busy or so much to do at work.  I want my children to know they are everything to me - everything to us.  My family is my world.  As a priority I want to be with them and present with them and bring Joy to their lives, our lives. 

Review

Well I have now completed 26 posts and am just over a quarter towards my goal of 100 posts. 

I think it is positive to Review what I have written so far, on my journey of being Joyful. 

Review defined as “to think or talk about something again, in order to make changes to it or to make  a decision”, “to look over, study or examine again”, “to consider retrospectively, look back on”, “to evaluate”, “a formal assessment of something with the intention of instituting change if necessary”.

I do love having an Intention of being Joyful and Joy Filled.  I have loved the experience of setting an Intention which has raised my awareness each day of my goal and focus. 

I look back on my posts and I love that I have listed down what I would now call as my Joy Starters.  A Review of my Posts shows me some of “my favourite things” and what brings me Joy - doing the Basics, a Challenge, Autumn, Photos, Sunshine, Exercise, Fresh food and eggs, Cooking, the Declutter process, Kookaburras, Winter highlights, keeping up to date with my Washing, being Outdoors, I love Ideas and Projects, Chatting always lifts me up, I love my Parents, plus Fruit, Recycling, Creating, Platters, Welcoming my family home, seeing the Strengths in others, Sleep and Brownies.  Looking at this list, I now plan to type up this list, and put it up on my wall so I see it every day. 

I think everyone should have their list and be active in pursuing Joy.

I love the process of a Review as a great opportunity to bring forward, consciously, into my future, these things that do bring me Joy.

When I look at my list I also note, and want to make a mention, that this list is in no particular order.  If it was in order I would put my Family as the number one topic.  I would also have a post about my Children who bring me so much Joy.

In my thinking and pondering time, I think that I have this focus of Joy since I have had my struggles with anxiety, and without a conscious effort to chase Joy, bring in Joy, notice Joy, I also feel that I could fall into darkness too - despite all of the light in my life.  With the stress of the coronavirus and the stress of work, there are times every day where I feel the stress and this can turn to anxiety and sometimes I feel down too.  Lucky for me I have my beautiful family who bring me instant Joy - my darling children light up my life.  I will do a post called Children, and write about my children who bring me so much Joy every day.  Being a Mum is the best gift in the world.

As I Review the list, I can also see that I have been focusing my attention on writing about what brings me Joy - rather than writing about the goal of bringing others Joy too.  I do believe that as I bring more Joy into my life, then this will make me a better Mum, and a better Wife and a better daughter, sister, Aunty, friend, neighbour.  As I become more Joyful this allows me to naturally, actively and proactively bring more Joy to others.  As I take note of what brings me Joy too, I want to also introduce these things to my children, so that I can see if they bring them Joy.  Plus I want to discover their unique Joy Starters and make sure they enjoy their days and have a happy life.

My posts do not talk much about my other emotions, the stress, the sadness sometimes, the worry, the headaches sometimes, the guilt - there is always the mother guilt – am I doing enough, am I doing a good job, do my children know how much I love them, do I bring them enough Joy or do I sometimes take away their fun and Joy.  My post is often about what brings me Joy during the tough times.  And for me finding the Tools to cope during the more difficult times is also key for me.  I must write a topic about Tools, about what I do and can do to cope or get through the anxious moments - and although Tools do not necessarily bring me Joy, they can certainly help in bringing me back to the Present.  I know that in the state of Presence, Joy can surprise me.  I am also determined that anxiety or other emotions do not rob me of Joy.

I also haven’t posted about what doesn’t bring me Joy - sometimes in recognising the opposite feeling this can then point to ideas to bring in more Joy.  I know that by taking something away or changing behaviour or routine or putting strategies in place this can lead to a more Joyful state. 

As I review the last paragraph, it is important to recognise the life is full of different emotions, and that this is life.  And it is important to recognise different emotions and different feelings – and feel the feelings – and then be able to move to the next state of feeling, rather than being overwhelmed by sadness or even the feeling of overwhelm.  My expectations are in check – I am not expecting to be in Joy all the time.  Yet I definitely want Joy to colour my days and bring smiles for myself and my family.   Sometimes the experience of a moment of Joy can bring in the feeling of happiness for a few hours or a day. 

I have enjoyed the opportunity to Review my posts and see where I am at, so that I can enjoy the process of bringing in Joy.  I definitely want there to be a sense of achievement next year too, not just in having written 100 posts, but in feeling different, and feeling a sense of more sunshine, more lightness and even more freedom in our home and lives - more Joy!