Scarves

I love my Scarves. My Scarves bring me Joy.

Scarves defined as “a length or square of fabric worn around the neck or head”.

When I read the definition I am so grateful, praise God that I do not need to wear Scarves around my head.

I love the fabric of Scarves. I love fabric and the opportunity to choose beautiful Scarves with beautiful fabric brings me Joy. 

I love getting Scarves from friends and family. I have a special Scarf given to me by my Sister-In-Law for my 40th Birthday. 

I love a Scarf I received from a friend for helping her husband with employment coaching. 

I love a Scarf I bought from the Ramsgate Markets when we had a fundraiser for my daughter’s friend. It brings a mix of pride for my daughter’s love of her friend and her motivation, and also a sadness. 

I love a Scarf my husband bought me for my efforts last year as my daughter’s homeschool efforts. We bought the same Scarf for my daughter’s school teachers. 

I also love my Scarf that has butterflies on it. I bought this Scarf when my husband and I went to Berry for our 10th Wedding Anniversary. It brings me memories of a beautiful time with my Husband. I also bought it to wear on my journey of my surgeries and beyond. When I wear it I feel strong and proud of myself too. 

Once lockdown has finished I am going to go on a hunt for another beautiful Scarves that marks the turning point of wellness for me, that has bright and bold colours. 

I said to my husband last night that every Anniversary, every year we should try and go away for just one night or perhaps two nights.  And I think I will buy a Scarf from these trips too.

Every day I go into my wardrobe and look at my Scarves and choose a Scarf to wear and I love that Scarves warm my neck.  I get so cold, except for between 1:30am to 5:00am where I now experience Hot Flushes.  Scarves are definitely my saviour in the cold weather or cold airconditioning.

When I wear these Scarves it brings memories of these moments, memories of these special people too. And it is in the memories that bring me Joy too.  

Doing

Doing brings me Joy. 

Doing defined as “something being done or the process of getting something done”.

The opposite of Doing for me is when I’m standing still and feel at a standstill, too unwell or too tired to take action. And I like taking action. I need to be Doing something. 

I find it is in the Doing that brings me Joy. Joy comes to me in the knowing that I am Doing, Joy in the process of Doing and the Joy I feel in the achievement of Doing. 

Even when I was at hospital and from the time I have been home and in recovery, I have focused on just Doing something easy, setting a task and Doing it. Early on I had to force myself. Sometimes I still need to talk myself into Doing and yet I know this is what keeps me out of falling into the darkness. 

Each day I will choose Doing as a preference as this is what brings me Joy.  

Handtowels

I love Handtowels.  Handtowels bring me Joy.

Handtowels defined as “a small towel for drying one’s hands”.

I love having enough Handtowels so that I can have fresh Handtowels for downstairs and upstairs.

I love white Handtowels.  These are my favourite. I also have some Handtowels that I have had for years that have embroidered birds on them, my favourite the kookaburra.  I would love to get some more Handtowels with some of my favourite national treasures - kookaburra, wattle tree, bottlebrush, maybe also some Handtowels with an image of our puppy.  I also have a Handtowel with lavender which I love too. 

Washing and replacing Handtowels so that there are always dry and clean ones for our family and visitors brings me Joy. 

It’s such a simple household item and yet it is sometimes the simple things that bring me Joy, enjoying and being grateful for the basic things in my life.    

Facials

I love Facials.  Having Facials definitely brings me Joy.

Facials defined as “spa treatments that usually includes a deep cleaning and moisturising of the face”.

I have my favourite place where I love having Facials.  My hubby started buying me vouchers for Facials and they really are the very best presents of all for me.  This would be my number one gift idea.

On the day before my surgery I chose to use the voucher my husband gave me, knowing that Facials put me in a place of Zen.  I knew the time before that I was so relaxed for 4 days and I wanted to be in a place of calm and feel totally relaxed and at peace.

Having the Facial was the best.  I always enter a deep meditative state that brings me insight, that makes me feel a quiet Joy.

I can’t wait until we get out of lockdown - more Facials for me, for sure.  I must remind my hubby that Facials are my preferred gift for the rest of my life. 

Showers

I love baths and yet when I think about it, I really do love Showers too.  Showers are the saviour for me in the morning when I am tired and Showers wake me up and ignite Joy too.

Showers defined as “a cubicle in which a person stands under a spray of water to wash.”

Having Showers in the hospital definitely helped shift my mindset. It gave me a sense of progress towards recovery.  It was hard the first one and yet I had the help of the nurses giving me Showers and I needed them.  The opportunity to feel the hot water over me.  The opportunity to wash and feel fresh.  The hot water on me gave me Joy.  The feeling of taking the action of Showers gave me joy.

I have my Showers as soon as I wake up in the morning.  It is the first part of my morning routine.  It is the transition from the sleepy pj me into the getting ready me, getting ready for a new day, getting ready to bring about my best self that I need to be each day.  The experience of Showers brings me Joy.  Knowing and embracing the purpose of my Showers, in terms of the being the crucial part in getting me up and moving and ready for the day brings me Joy. 

Now as I am still in recovery from my surgeries and have been waking up a lot through the early mornings, it is the Showers that I look forward to, knowing they will refresh me and wake me up, knowing they are the key to get me moving in the mornings.

We are blessed we can just turn on the hot water and balance it with the cold water to get the perfect temperature for our Showers.  We are blessed! 

Nailpolish

I love when I get a Pedicure and get my nails done, this definitely brings me Joy. I love choosing the Nailpolish colour. I also love taking my daughter to get get nails done as well. My girl loves choosing a Nailpolish or two, most recently choosing red and black.  I also love going to get a pedicure with my best friend too. 

Nailpolish defined as “varnish applied to the fingernails or toenails to colour them or make them shiny”.

I love the looking forward to the pedicure. The pedicure is the place to get Nailpolish. We have Nailpolish in the cupboard and yet rarely would we venture on our own to put on Nailpolish. I like the perfect nails, painted perfectly. I like to sit back and relax in the massage chair and have the experts put on the Nailpolish - this fills me with Joy.

I love red Nailpolish. It speaks to me of red and power. What I love about getting a pedicure and perfectly painted red Nailpolish is that when I stand in the shower, I look at my Nailpolish and feel a sense of empowerment.  I specifically chose red Nailpolish before my surgeries and deliberately did my nails just before my surgery so that they can look good and in a small way keep me feeling good, by bringing me Joy. 

Darkness

Being in the Darkness does not bring me Joy. 

This is when I need to find the light. This is when I need to soak in the Joy. This is when I need to welcome the Joy, strive for Joy. 

The last 4 weeks have been tough. After having my preventative surgeries of a double mastectomy and a total hysterectomy the night after my surgeries were completed I felt very positive and up.  And yet it was only day 3 where I felt down, that I had fallen back into the black hole. 

Feeling in the depth of the dark hole, just happened so suddenly and without warning. It was a tough few days. 

And during this time it was Joy that brought in the sunshine. My husband, my rock. My children. My best friend. Sunflowers in my room. 

It was tough in the hospital. I felt in the darkness after falling in without a choice. This worried me.  

And I’ve been in the Darkness before, and this is a place I deliberately avoid. I deliberately focus on self care. I consciously stay away from the edge of the black hole. I look back on that time of darkness 17 years ago. It was the worst time in my life. It was the worst time in my parents’ life. I think back to this time when I literally felt I couldn’t get out of bed. I remember my Mum negotiating with me to get out of bed and have a shower and that I could then get back into bed. Each morning my Dad would come over and talk to me while I lay in bed and say he would go and buy me a fresh mango yogurt. I also liked  watching a TV show at night and enjoyed watching this sitcom and it kept me going too. At this time I was deep down in the Darkness, in the depths of the dark hole. I am not sure how long I was in a black hole. It seems like a long time. It was definitely months, probably close to a year. It was a long time. I realised I could stand still or go up. And so I made the decision to crawl up out of the black hole and regain happiness.  I am proud of myself that I was able to get up and out of the Darkness.  If I have done it once I could do it again - although I've always tread carefully to avoid falling in again. 

I was watching a movie and loved the words that said "but it is the shadows that truly define us. There where there is no light."

Luckily my recent fall into the Darkness did not last.  However during this time I had to be in action, be in the doing, doing things that bring me Joy.  I had to keep moving, even just doing small things.  I could have just stayed in bed and yet getting up and doing a few things that I wrote on a list was the key for me.  The list and doing of a list brought me into a positive mindset.  And once I was out of the hole I still felt it close by to me.  There were tears.  It was tough in hospital.  And so once I felt strong enough physically I asked to come home.  It was time to take a step to get closer to the light.    

Being in the Darkness, with the threat of Darkness looming, taught me so much about the importance of Joy and the importance of seeking Joy and enjoying Joy.  Knowing my Joy Starters, what brings me Joy is the key to my happiness and knowing what my family need too is also key for me.

As I get so close to the magic number of 100 I realise that there is so much that brings me Joy and if I focus on bringing these Joyful moments into my life each day I am guaranteed happiness.  Of course knowing what does not bring me Joy is also critical for me.  Knowing what makes me anxious or upset or angry and working on strategies is key for me too.  

The journey of Joy, my goal of 100 posts about Joy is almost achieved and yet at the end of the posts I will take the time for a final post to really reflect on what I have learnt and what I can do to live a Joyful life and bring Joy to my children too.

I think I need a post about what does not bring joy - the Disrupters plus a post about what brings my family Joy, when they are the happiest - not sure what I will call this post - Knowing, Understanding, Keys.

I feel most Grateful that I feel myself now, that I have escaped the black hole, the Darkness.  I am most Grateful that my positive self is still alive and well, adjusting to the new me.  I am missing late nights writing and watching Netflix, me time.  I need to go to bed earlier now as I wake up through the morning feeling hot as part of the new reality of me.  And yet Sleep brings me Joy, knowing I am looking after myself and choosing health as a priority.   

I choose the light.  And yet I know that Darkness will come again, perhaps not in the form of a black hole, yet definitely in times of life's downs and tragedies, the unexpected that knocks us over.  I think knowing what brings Joy and setting this Intention not just for a year or 100 posts, yet for my life, for the life of my family is key for us, is most important for us, will keep us happy and well.