Reflect

Well I have now completed 56 posts and am half way towards my goal of 100 posts. 

So many things bring me Joy.  I love just paying attention to what brings me Joy.  I actually feel that I can’t keep up with writing about Joy.

I have been focusing on other writing projects and I am behind on my goal of 100 posts about Joy between now and this Mother’s Day.  I have 6 weeks and 1 day, or 43 days until the next Mother’s Day which means that 44 posts is achievable. 

My plan was to review or reflect or analyse or evaluate every 3 months and write 2 posts a week - yet I believe in flexibility and the most important to me is the end result which is to set the intention of Joy and consciously bring in Joy to my life and the life of my family.  It is also important to me that I achieve the goal of 100 pots too.

Reflect defined as “think deeply or carefully about”.

In reflection so far I love that I have set this intention of Joy since I am very conscious of this each day - conscious to do what brings me Joy, conscious to take note of what brings me Joy, and conscious to bring Joy to others too.   When I hear my husband get home from work or home from a visit to his Mums with our little ones, I race to the door to Welcome them - Joy! When I see a Kookaburra out the back, it is a big deal, and we race to have a look through the window or tip toe out so that I can take photos.

I haven’t yet put up my list on my bedroom wall.  I will do this at the very end of the 100 posts.  I will type up the list and put in categories.  I will look at this list and be active in living this list too. 

Sometimes the day or night doesn’t go to plan – such as tonight, where my Cranky Mum part of me gets tired and starts getting mad at my children who aren’t listening to me.  I hate when I get Cranky.  I want to be the happy, relaxed, peaceful Mum.  My best friend tells me that all Mums get Cranky at their children.  I know this is true.

Choosing Joy has definitely helped with my anxiety.  The anxiety is still a reality for me - yet I’ve also worked out the things that bring me the most anxiety and I am trying to make changes to avoid these situations - such as feeling stressed at the morning since we are running late, my children not listening to me, feeling overwhelmed at work and feeling it is out of control.  Being in action and being proactive is key for me.  Eating chocolate should also be a no-no for me – I love chocolate yet once I’ve eaten it I actually do get a headache and it can cause me anxiety and I sometimes almost feel a dip into depression, not full blown depression, yet it can definitely affect my mood.  And usually as it is late at night I find myself wanting to pop 2 panadol to cure the headache. 

Starting this blog has helped kickstart my writing and I am finding that writing is bringing me so much Joy.  I am loving writing. 

My children bring me the greatest Joy and the greatest heartache sometimes too - yet for me being with my children, being totally present with my children is everything to me.  This is my priority.

In my pursuit of Joy, and in the journey of life, acceptance is also becoming key for me.  Acceptance that I am not perfect, acceptance that my life is not perfect.  I need to breathe and bring in my Zen Mother especially at 9:00pm at night when my children won’t go to bed.  I need to find this Zen Mumma within myself - not sure if she does exist - I know that being the Zen Mumma would definitely bring me Joy.

I also have to be in acceptance that health problems can happen and things outside my control can happen.  Recently I found out that I have the BRCA2 gene which means that I am at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer.   This wasn’t a surprise to me yet the choices I am now making are so real and life-changing.  And in this process of doing what I need to do to help myself to be healthy for as long as I can for my children and husband and future grandchildren I will see Joy and bring Joy.  By consciously focusing on Joy this will help me in my recovery.  I find in life that there can be two emotions travelling side by side, like a train track (my friend said this once from a book that she read) and I find that I will always try to choose Joy despite the pain or worry or anxiety.  I must choose Joy too when I feel my Cranky Mum coming out or when I am recovering from my surgeries.

When I studied my Life Coaching Course I remember finding my purpose of Spread The Yellow and I need to embrace this purpose each day – this is about being in Joy, being on purpose and spreading the Joy too.

This is what I wrote, a long time ago about my purpose - Yellow = Love, Warmth, Connection, Presence, Genuine Interest and Curiosity, I'm Interested In What You Have To Say, I'm Interested In Your Journey, I Care, I SEE YOU, YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO ME, JOY, Happiness, Positivity, Energy, Excitement, Enthusiasm, Eye Contact, Just Being With Another, A Smile, A Moment, A Kind Word, Words From Your Heart, A Hug, An Encouragement, An Acknowledgement, Gratitude, Appreciation, Gift Of Words, Gift Of Thoughtfulness, AWARENESS, Opportunity, Possibility, Right To Choice, Right To Choose, An Offering, An Invitation, Make A Difference, Make This Moment Count!!!

Spread The Yellow is about Sharing, Moment To Moment, Positive Energy - and in that Moment, in that Creation, there is a Far-Reaching, Flow into the Universe, a Domino Exponential Effect.

'The' is about Purpose and Intent - in those Moments, Taking A Moment to Spread The Yellow, these Moments come from a Natural, Heart-Felt, Genuine, Place of Love. It is the small things that are the BIG things.

This is who I am - I cannot lose myself - whether I am busy or not busy, stressed or relaxed, a Mum at home doing housework or hanging out with my children, or at work doing administration work or being with my Clients.  I cannot lose myself on the day before my surgery or the day of my surgery or after my surgery.  I can be real.  I need to be real.  There are always so many more emotions yet I will choose to embrace Joy each day too.